This blog is meant to be an SEO engineering machine where people who are ready to heal their food relationship can get cozy and comforted while they learn how to use faith and food to fuel their success.
Yet, as I prescribe to the prescription from Dr. Google; my voice gets squashed.
So I ask:
F*ck, What do You Want From Me Google?
A woman calls me and desires to fork over her cash and get working NOW on healing that food relationship.
Then she disappears for weeks.
Finally, when I hear back from her she says that I am not really helping her.
So, I want to ask:
“F*ck What do you want from me Client who wants a quick fix?”
I decide to focus on my body; to laser in on a nutritional program. I changed my workouts. I fast for 16 hours a day. One pound leaves.
F*ck, what do you want from me, body?
Oh, this is so f*cking frustrating! If only google, clients and my body would give me what I want!
After all, I carry out my part of the partnership.
- I SEO my ass off.
- I play hide and seek with clients.
- I do what “they” say to slim my body.
I have shed tears over google begging him to love me.
I have placed my worth on my clients’ success.
I have obsessed over my saddlebags most of my life trying to hate them away, sweat them away and stretch them away, still they stay.
Whenever I find myself frustrated and yelling F*ck what do you want from me? I know that:
- I am way too attached to the outcome.
- I am lacking a system or a practice.
- I am playing in a place where I don’t belong.
Let me explain:
Let’s start with Google:
Whenever I write a blog post and my YOAST SEO gives me the green light I expect that loads of traffic will clog up my website and I will have to spend hours reading and responding to comments. Yea, that has not happened yet!
I expect that if I follow the RX according to google then I will have traffic and when I don’t well I get pissed.
I am so attached to HOW you find me! I want you to just google some random phrase, come to my blog LOVE IT and share it and then I become an overnight blog-sation!
Instead; all I can do is what I can do. In other words; I write because I share my journey AND to help others who are hot and heavy with food. The blog-sation fascination comes from my ego. Whether I receive a million likes or 0; does not affect my value as a person. So I do what I can do; pay attention to google (a little) and write what I want.
Next: Getting rid of the clients from hell:
I allowed my client’s wound to run the show. She called because she needs to heal her relationship with food, however, SHE cannot call the shots and I allowed that.
Instead: Thanks to this wonderful woman (which she truly is) I created a process that potential clients move through. This process allows them to gain clarity on their wounds so I can be at my highest service.
Finally: the revelation of my true body:
I am 51 and I have a slow thyroid. I have arthritis in my knees.
I can allow these things to slow me down or I can do something about it.
I took the prize behind the second door. This meant becoming conscious of what I was eating, tracking my food and finding workouts that felt good yet didn’t tear my knees apart.
I was doing all that and the scale didn’t budge.
I also want to mention that I had a friend who had totally transformed her body in a matter of months. I mean bikini competition transformation.
I started to do what she was doing and I was nowhere ready for a bikini competition!
My higher self-was sharing that my body will change when it is ready and I really needed to stop trying to play in a place I don’t belong.
IN OTHER WORDS: I DON’T CONTROL MY BODY REVELATION.
My friend totally disagrees with me. She gives me pointers of reducing sodium, macro-nutrient balance and working out more.
We both intermittently fast she does it for more hours than I do (that post will be for another time..)
I love my friend, and I totally disagree with her. What worked for her doesn’t work for everyone.
Personally, I want to have my cake and release weight too and I am!
Is it a pound a week? No more like a pound a month!
Yet, my body is changing; my clothes are fitting better and I am buying dresses in smaller sizes.
This revelation unfolds because I am at peace with my eating, my workouts and most importantly, I have peace of mind.
What a relief that I don’t need to be in charge of all this!
When you feel the frustration; instead of bitching and saying what the fuck do you want from me ask yourself:
1. Am I focusing on the results?
2. Do I need some sort of process or system set up?
3. Am I sitting on my throne of despair because I am doing what I am supposed to do without results?
Let’s end all this whining and wondering about what the fuck you want from me and just soak up:
Google is a beast. Trying to bring people to our words and support can be so frustrating and disheartening. I so get this! We just have to write what we feel led to and put it out there. The same with clients. We can only do so much :).