Even the Food Relationship Coach Dives Into Emotional Eating.
I am gifted in public speaking; or so I thought.
I wrote that in my journal because my coach gave me the assignment to find something that I am good at and declare it every day.
Oh well here goes nothing so, one day I wrote that I was gifted at public speaking.
As soon as I declared this public speaking gift; I was asked to publicly speak and since I am so gifted at publicly speaking I didn’t practice like a gift speaker would do.
Instead I just kind of winged it.
I was attending my friend’s 2 day market domination event and she gave me this speaking opportunity.
From what I understood; the purpose of this speech was to place the video on my website.
I was the first to get up. I was a little nervous, but heck I am a gifted speaker; now problemo!
I spoke; I received a few giggles (less than I had intended).
I was about to step off the stage and my friend says WAIT! Lets’ get feedback from the audience.
Shit! I am a gifted speaker I don’t need to hear feedback.
The participants were very sweet: they started with what was good and what could be even better.
I agreed and thought this isn’t too bad even gifted speakers need a little improvement right?
Then the debacle with the diabolical women happened.
She stands up and says “3 things”.
- “You looked really nervous and you were not engaged with the audience. You need to give eye contact. (ok, I thought I did but oh well I can always improve with that right?)”
- I cannot even remember because the 3rd one knocked me right on my ass.
- “This is the perfectionist in me but you said diabolical instead of debacle.”
She went on to give me the definitions of each.
Yes, bitch I know the definitions, yet, I didn’t remember saying that. Nevertheless I thanked her and stated that I didn’t remember saying that!
She responded “Yes you said it 2 times.”
I got off the stage and was raging inside. I was shaking and tears started to form. Since I have big eyes; hiding tears filling them become quite obvious.
However, I was not going to give that bitch the satisfaction and since she was sitting at my table; I kept turning my head and taking deep breaths.
Real smooth right?
The self-defensive me came out with her claws and in my mind I said:
“ Diabolical bitch! How dare you embarrass me in front of the whole group? If you had any class, you would have pulled me aside and shared the diabolical debacle but obviously you have no class.”
Then the diabolical bitch in my head started laughing:
“Ha guess you are not so gifted after all! Why don’t you go hide your fat ass in the corner and quit trying to make this big impact. Who do you think you are?”
As lunch ended and the afternoon rolled on I felt myself feeling imprisoned, trapped and all I wanted to do was run.
But I good girl doesn’t run. She sits and has a smile on her face and stuffs her face with skittles.
That diabolical bitch in my head was having a big day and she let me know that my emotional eating is not under control.
She said that all eyes were on me and whispering:
“Look at the health cook pouring skittles into her mouth.”
After the skittle were gone I needed salt so I bought a bag of barbeque potato chips and stuffed those in my face while a sat in the bathroom.
I know, gross.
When I went home I was so angry that I allowed this diabolical woman to add to my debacle of a day.
I would have sworn on a stack of bibles that I had licked emotional eating.
I went to bed and woke up at 3am and immediately felt this big weight on my chest.
I got up and went to my meditation chair and prayed.
Well it really was more of a bitch fest than a prayer fest.
I said to God: we are hashing this out once and for all. Today I was either going to go for it or I am walking away for good. forever.
I told God that I didn’t trust him. After all, I did everything I could to build my last company and I failed miserably. Give me a reason to have some faith. To learn about How Health Coaching made me fat, sick and miserable go here.
Then God answered:
“You are gifted at speaking yet that does not mean you don’t have to practice. Get real Maureen, you could have practiced more. Heck, if Michael Jordan didn’t practice he would only be a great talent that we may have wondered what he could have done. Take responsibility Maureen for your part in this debacle. It is not the diabolical women’s fault that you poured skittles down your throat. Quit blaming her. Faith has no guarantees that’s why you call it faith!
The weight lifted and I became grateful for:
- The diabolical woman. Without her I would still be scared, afraid to move forward and be of service.
- Emotional eating: Without that episode of skittles and barbeque ruffles; I wouldn’t have gotten the message that God had.
- Finally getting that rock out of my ass. I have been feeling like I am sitting on a rocky cliff. Due to my lack of faith I was afraid to jump off the cliff; just in case I fell flat on my face. In turn I knew that I am here to be of service to those who live with emotional eating and if I would just go back down the cliff; I would have turn my back on being of service.
The next day I was back in that room and sitting across from the diabolical woman who I realized was no longer diabolical and throughout the day she proved this by:
- Finding a flaw in someone’s perfect presentation. I mean it was perfect! She had people on their feet and applauding.
- Ripping my friend (who is supposedly her friend) for creating a sub-par product 3 years ago. 3 YEARS AGO!
- Leaving the event without saying goodbye to anyone.
Even though to the rest of the room; her diabolicalness seemed to escalate I saw something quite profound:
HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
Others are not cruel because we deserve it. Rather the cruelty comes from some misguided idea that THEY deserve it.
I energetically kissed the diabolical woman goodbye. 
The debacle, the diabolical woman and dive into the skittles became one of the highlights of my year.
Enough about me!Let’s start some emotional eating blessingfest! In the comment section below; share a emotional eating event and how it become a blessing in disguise. I am here to support you!
Oh how I can relate! I’ve poured skittles down my throat on many occasions from a rude comment, etc. As if I was showing them ;). I’m so glad you took some time with God to see the positive in this slip. We are recovering, not recovered! I truly believe that. Love this: “Hurt people hurt people.” Such truth!
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading. This vulnerable thing is tough yet I must say it is also very therapeutic.