I am ashamed….
I was a stay at home mom for 20 years and I loved it.
And I was ashamed that I loved it.
Society does not look fondly over the woman who doesn’t multi-task.
I am just not built for juggling.
Yes, I know that being a stay at home mom required some juggling; it stressed me out and contributed to my compulsiveness.
When my kids were young, I had a brother pass away, a sick mother who died 16 months after my brother and sick in-laws.
Not to mention a child who had just been diagnosed with Autism.
My husband traveled weekly.
I was in charge of the kids and they came first. Thankfully, I was in the position to be able to focus on my kids; but that also meant that their dreams became my dreams.
Yet, I would still moon over the career moms in their cute dresses talking on their cell phones while they ran into school to attend some school event.
I wanted to be able to multi-task like that; but I knew I wasn’t built for it and that made me feel shameful.
Then I learned this: The mind can do only one thing excellently and 2 things average and performance goes down from there.
Multi-tasking increases illness because it places stress on your body. Remember the body feels primally. When you are feeling stressed about getting everything crossed off your to do list, your body believes that you are in danger and turns on the cortisol to protect you.
Yes, even something as minor as driving and chatting on the phone can put your body into stress physiology.
Doing more than 1 thing at once makes you least productive and this 2011 study confirms that multitasking impairs decision making, short-term memory and can cause weight gain!
Don’t Stress Out About Multi-Tasking Stressing You Out, Try these tricks instead:
- Plan your day into chunks. I have started doing this and it has changed my life. Your subconscious mind reboots every 90 minutes so make sure you chunks are not longer than that. During those 90 minutes turn off everything possible and focus. Set an alarm that won’t alarm you. It is amazing what you can do in 90 minutes when you are focused.
- Say No first: Stop thinking about it and say no first. You won’t regret it I promise.
- Plan, Plan, Plan: Your food, your clothes, your workouts, your sleep and even your sex. When you plan you give your mind some direction on how to help you focus.
- Turn it off when you are driving. I just returned from a short trip that required 10 hours of driving. I usually am the most impatient driver but when I turned my phone on silent and concentrated on the road; I felt at peace. You need peace. Reinstitute the car as the no phone zone.
- When you feel the stress boiling; begin to deeply breathe. Your breath has the power to turn off the cortisol and turn on your rest and digest system.
What about you? Are you a multi-tasker? Does it cause you stress? Leave me a comment below and share your thoughts.
Great advice!! I have found that if I dedicate myself to a specific task (e.g. working on my blog or cleaning the house) for a set amount of time, I get so much more done than if I float from one task to the next with no plan and no focus. You are right–dividing one’s attention lowers productivity. I didn’t know about the 90-minute reboot. I’m going to try blocking my time in 90-minute intervals and see what happens.
Let me know how it goes!
Such great advice! I can definitely relate, as I recently started having health issues that are stress-related. Trying to do too much at the same time WILL make you sick! And it’s not worth it. Saying the word “no” liberally gives such freedom, and it gets much easier with practice!
Good for you! I know you are getting stronger everyday! Saying no is super hard for me and I have to be conscious all the time. Thanks for sharing your experience!