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So, you binged.
It felt so good while it was happening, but now you feel like a failure, a dope, a loser, and a weakling.
My sister of Sassy Pants Rebellion: How you respond to this binge can change the future of your binging behavior.
I can almost bet that this binge was not your first, so let’s think back to your first binge or one that stands out.
I’ll get us started.
In April of 1990, my daughter was 4 months old and I was a stay at home mom at the age of 25. I was lonely. I had no friends because they were all working and few had children. Just 2 years before, I was being judged by my grades. Now I was being judged on how not to screw up my kid. Even at 4 months old, I was deathly afraid of making a mistake.
I had lots of time to think and I thought about what a screw up I had grown into. I had no career. In fact, from my two post-college jobs, I had been fired from one and the other celebrated when I didn’t come back after maternity leave.
I felt fat, ugly, and stupid. I was surrounded by women who were 10 to 15 years older than me. I was extra nervous, so lots of stupid stuff came out of my mouth.
One day, the self-berating got to be too much and I took my infant girl, strapped her in the car seat, and drove up to the gas station. I bought 4 candy bars and ate them ALL by the time I got home – less than 10 minutes.
20 years of this binging, and every time I would beat the crap out of my psyche.
That self-abuse did nothing to stop my binging, so why would I continue to do it? Because I felt bad, and bad must be punished – when in essence, my binging was a call for help from a lost young woman who lost her voice and deserved compassion, love, and understanding. Boy, just saying that brings me to tears.
I don’t want that for you. I don’t want one more binge to be reacted to in an abusive way. I am committing my business to be of service so no person ever has to walk the hell I did. Berating yourself after your first binge did not prevent anymore binges, so let’s stop the abuse and let’s bounce back by using love and compassion.
The bounce back includes getting Spiritual, getting mental, and getting physical. When you follow these steps, the chances of the next binge unconsciously happening will diminish. This course correction holds such power. Never underestimate the healing. Be focused on it, and don’t put it off for later.
The basis for healing comes from your Higher Power. Keep a special binge journal and ask God from a place of love: Where did that come from? What was the motive behind that binge. Listen and write what you feel and hear. Don’t judge, just write.
Next: what can I do to respond differently from today forward? You have 100% control over your response. In fact, it may be the only thing you have control over.
Record the lessons you have learned from your spirit. Breathe them in. Feel them. Imprint them with some sort of visual. Then, get practical and determine how you can structure yourself to avoid having to learn this lesson again.
Finally, the shame around the binge hurts you more than the binge itself. The best way to eradicate shame is with self-compassion. Even if you don’t feel like it, think about what you would do if your child was feeling sad and upset. Would you berate them even more? Of course not! You would hug them while also creating a structure so they can succeed. Do that for yourself.
Breathe deep breaths.
Take a leisurely walk so you can give your metabolism some help with breaking down the food.
Do something sweet for yourself, and when you are hungry again, just eat according to your unique recipe.
The binge doesn’t have to be the end – you can bounce back. In fact, when you follow these steps, you will be able to finally see the gift within the binge.