When I was deep into my binging behavior, I remember visiting a therapist who shared that I was “too hard on myself” and that I just needed to “relax” around all this binging drama.
I immediately left her office vowing never see her again while promising myself from now on I will be good. I will only eat healthy food and stay away from my binge foods.
Then, I would find myself at the corner side gas station stuffing 4 candy bars down my throat.
I was very good at making up a story around the reason for my massive candy bar purchase.
My nieces and nephews are stopping by and since I am the cool aunt I always make sure they get a treat from me. (They’re not coming over.)
I was bewildered by my own behavior, yet I didn’t know how to stop it. My only focus was on getting myself to stop.
Unfortunately, this behavior was bigger than me. The more I focused on making it stop, the deeper my compulsion sank into my cells.
I woke up with hope and went to sleep with despair.
Oh, and the shame of this behavior drove me crazy! For many years, I could keep the pounds at bay with exercise… But eventually, as this disease progressed, my body rebelled against the sweat and just got bigger and bigger while I became sicker and sicker.
All these years later, I know what that therapist was trying to tell me – the binging, the fat, the depression, and the despair were all symptoms. Diets, pills, potions, and programs would never provide long term relief because it only masked the symptoms.
So, what does a sassy pant rebel do? Succumb to the behavior? Hell no!
She gets to the root of the behavior while noticing when the compulsion to binge comes along. The act of binging is fast. It happens so fast that you barely notice it. As soon as you do notice it, you get curious. You get compassionate. You set up your life so that binging becomes a conscious act instead of an unconscious compulsion.
In my work with clients, we literally go through their kitchens and set it up for conscious binging. For example, binge foods either get thrown out, or they get placed somewhere that makes you be very conscious that you are about to binge.
I show them how to be self-compassionate and how strong they are because they have the only compulsion where you need the compulsion to survive. It takes a very strong person to live with the binging and obsession with food.
I share that the real relief comes when you actually give yourself to a power higher than yourself.
The fastest way to stop the compulsive eating comes from surrendering to God. All you have told is say: “I want to binge, God, and I give it to you. Please take it.” He will; all you have to do is ask.